This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think people are normalizing furries
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
