But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
