Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
