i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
