I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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