lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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