i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
