They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
