he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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