Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
