on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
