I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
