He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
