I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
