guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
