Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
