Im at strip club and am horny
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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