You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
