We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
