bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
