i think my tv is drunk
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
