i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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