He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize