Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
