I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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