I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
