you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize