i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
