He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize