I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
