i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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