I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
