Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
