At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
