Got a toothbrush?
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize