party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
