i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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