i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
