I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
