where am i from again
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
