i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
