Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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