i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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