I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize