YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i think i just lost a toe
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
