My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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