Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
