Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he just fucked me for my cheese..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
