I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
