Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
