What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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