I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
