I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
