I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
