btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
