If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
