somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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