Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
