Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize