I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
