the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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