you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
