You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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