Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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