but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
