i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
