I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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