just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
