when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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