I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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