Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
