Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
