We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
