Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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