she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
