after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also, beer. Big fan.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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